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VÍDEO | Relacionamento: é tarde demais para o meu? Relações saudáveis com Dolores Bordignon

A história do caminho para a frieza no amor é bem conhecida: começamos cheios de afeto um pelo outro e então, com o tempo, os sentimentos se dissipam. Começamos a priorizar o trabalho, verificamos nossos telefones enquanto o outro está falando, não temos mais a mesma vontade de ouvir como foi o dia do nosso parceiro. Há uma explicação superficial e popular para esta frieza emocional: “as pessoas naturalmente se aborreceriam umas com as outras”, da mesma forma como ficam entediadas com tudo.

Porém, há outra explicação. A perda de interesse não é natural, tampouco inevitável. O tédio é algo um pouco mais complicado e mais ativo. Ele existe porque vamos acumulando mágoas, irritações ou até medo — e não encontramos uma maneira libertadora de contar a nós mesmos ou a eles sobre isso.

Ou seja, o desligamento não é inevitável, mas sim um sintoma de aflição emocional rejeitada, é uma maneira de lidar. Dia após dia, vamos ficando internamente anestesiados, deixando passar pequenas coisas que antes nos alegravam, nos emocionavam, que alimentavam o “Eu amoroso”. A consequência é que o Eu amoroso seca, esfria, não quer ter relações sexuais, torna-se sarcástico e irritável, mas ele nem sequer sabe por que é assim. E saiba, isso não é fingimento ou joguete. Não, isso é apenas algo muito confuso dentro de cada um.

Para aprender a lidar, precisamos de uma conscientização mútua e do perdão desta dinâmica de sensibilidade e angústia, além de um compromisso de decodificá-lo quando o desengajamento e a indiferença surgirem. Não deixar que a apatia tome conta. Temos que manter uma capacidade de diálogo em que as “pequenas perdas amorosas” possam ser transmitidas com segurança, sem que o outro desista quando as questões em jogo soarem como infantis ou imaginárias.

Este é o terceiro vídeo da série Relações Saudáveis: assista aos outros
Leia o artigo ao qual a psicopedagoga se refere no vídeo: Solidão a dois

Veja também: Como desenvolver intimidade real com seu parceiro

>> Siga Dolores Bordignon no YouTube e garanta o recebimento dos novos vídeos. Clique em inscrever-se e, logo após, marque o sininho para receber as notificações.

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Dolores Bordignon soma centenas de casos individuais, de famílias e casais que desejam construir novos paradigmas. Suas palestras e workshops trazem à luz a importância da inteligência emocional para as relações pessoais, profissionais e familiares. Conheça o trabalho da psicopedagoga em nosso site. Entre em contato para promover seu evento com Dolores.

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